I pretty much feel the same way as yesterday...lost. I feel like there should be a doctor or nurse here to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be ok. However, that is not the case. I am on my own in this. I would have to be hospitalized to have that kind of attention. Everyone around me is scared. I'm scared and seeing my families worried faces doesn't help any. I'm supposed to be the scared one, and they're the ones that are supposed to stand by me and give me support. This whole time I have felt like it is I that have been supporting my family. I was so afraid to let them know I'm terrified, that I haven't been able to deal with any of this myself.